How To Get Kids To Improve Their Grades In School
Should you pay your kids for better grades?
Roughly 50% of parents in the US report paying the kids an incentive for better grades.
I think it is a habit that backfires for three reasons…
(1) Whenever you substitute an extrinsic reward with intrinsic motivation, the intrinsic motivation goes away.
So, in a sense, the moment you start paying your kid for something they should be doing on their own and finding rewarding on its own, they are going to become less motivated over time.
Yes, your kid may temporarily get a better grade because you’re paying it for it. Sure. But over time, the motivation to study for an exam and to learn will actually decrease, and I think that’s exactly what you don’t want for your child.
(2) It can lead to a sense of entitlement, where you do nothing on your own unless somebody rewards you for it.
Some things just need to be done. We don’t get money every time we help somebody with something – we don’t always get rewarded for every single “good” step (unfortunately). Kids benefit from understanding that some things need to be done simply because it is the correct thing to do.
(3) Sometimes you will have to let your kid fail.
Failure is one of the most powerful moments for learning. It hurts, it’s painful, but sometimes it’s the wake-up call that is needed. When you work so hard at preventing your kid from failing, you are also preventing your kid from gaining some valuable life-learning lessons.
All that said, I’m definitely NOT saying you should not support your kids. Of course, you should support your them. You can offer help, encourage and motivate them, and, most importantly, be there for them.
But offering money for better grades….doesn’t seem to be the best way to do that.
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